New Job and Travel

January 31, 2001

So I applied for and got this job at Ebay as a customer support email writer. It starts tomorrow but I had more than a week so on Friday I decided to drive to CA and see old friends. First I went to Escondido and saw the Chelles (Michelle and Rochelle) and then I drove to the old college grounds and saw the beach and friends and played computer games. I must say the funnest part of the entire trip was eating lunch in the caf with all the folks I used to do that with every day. I did not get to Disneyland but that’s ok since it was only a secondary goal. I left SCC and saw my friend Steve at the church he is a children's pastor at, then off to Moreno Valley to see Geoff and his marching stallions. How they get them horses to march I have no idea.

Before I left I had the opportunity to run sound at my brothers drama gig he has going. He had another job and needed me to fill in for him at the theatre. So I filled in for him. It was a very successful show and by that I mean noone was severely wounded.

So the new job starts tomorrow, orientation anyway. My current goals are to pay off my student loan by July 2001, which will require about $1,500 payments each month. GULP. Wish me luck!

New Home

January 12, 2001

I'm getting worse at keeping this updated! Let's give you a fresh update. I am moved back home now. All my stuff is here. I have been job hunting on the net and not working at all. I have yet to hear back from a single job. I have no money and I still have student loans due at the first of the month. I don't know anyone in Utah. Basically things are not snapping together here, yet.

Keep hope alive.

My brother's studio has been fun. We cleaned it up and hooked all his toys up and now its just a matter of finding time to record stuff to learn how to use all of it. Its been fun so far though. I have yet to set up my drums. On one hand I'm itching to do so, and on the other I hardly care. Its been so long since I played and it will be a ramp up for me to get back to where I was. But I'll give it a shot anyway.

This is short. Ill update again when I actually have something to report.

Christmas and Hope

December 27, 2000

My flight home was relatively uneventful without mention of a flight delay in Denver, which I might add, is the worst setup for an airport in existence. It is begging for problems to happen and they did and I missed my flight because of it. But I’m over it. I got here and saw the family and everything is fine. Christmas went great. Of course the whole point of Jesus and being with family. But, for those of you who are keeping score, I got a guitar, a djembe drum, clothes, a book by Nancy Cartwright (the voice of Bart Simpson), a other trinkets (wallet, money, answering machine and more). Makes you happy to be American!

My brother has an impressive studio setup. Well impressive for a 16 year old in UT. I’ve seen some nuts stuff in Nashville. Anyway, we have been messing around in there. Once I get my four track down here we’ll start pumping out some stuff I hope. Speaking of which here’s all the messy details of my final move to UT. I packed all my belongings in my car and drove to the airport and parked and flew to UT. I will fly back to TN on Jan 1 and get my car and on Jan 2 I will drive back to UT where I will get a job and live rent-free and raise some money. Any questions? The only sad part is I had to abandon a few things in my apartment in TN. My bed L and my television L . My television kills me. I mean, my dad got that for me when I was in 5^th grade so that I could have something to play my Atari on. It’s been with me through Nintendo, through HS, through college, through TN. It’s seen better days, but its been a trooper. And I had to just leave it! I feel awful. Cuts me like a knife.

I will officially start looking for a job after Jan 1. Till then I am only keeping my eyes open. In the mean time I am just relaxing. Today I went skiing with my brother and I didn’t fall once!! It was grand. And it was night skiing, which I was leery about but now IM a big supporter. There are less people, its less expensive, and they are only open from 5-9 p.m. so you don’t feel like you have to ski all 8 hours. You just ski till they tell you to stop and you still have energy to drive home. Anyhow, a good time was had by all.

Rachael Explodes

December 15, 2000

At the risk of sounding like a fool, a dramatic chapter of my life has come to a nuclear explosive end. Racheal Jones from Tucson Arizona has been recently married. It had been two years since I talked to her. The last conversation we had was awkward and clumsy and frankly painful for me. I emailed her last week on a total fluke after discovering I still had an old email address of hers. Today I received a reply. She’s been married. There wasn’t hope anyway. Not even from the beginning. I am quite hopeless about such things though. I was there. I had every chance to do everything right. But life just took me on every path as far from her as it could take me. Even though I haven’t talked to her in years, my mind has been there off and on the entire time. My knees shook when I read the message. Any life I had in me at the time drained out of my head through my heart and out my feet leaving me cold empty and shattered. She wasn’t even close to me. I know I’m making way too much of it. But nonetheless that’s what I felt. I have only read her email once. I’m afraid to open it again. This thought is not what I need right now. I brought it on myself. I didn’t have to email her. But I did. So it must be my fault. I can never leave well enough alone. I am a sad sick twisted little man. She dropped out of school. I think she’s supposed to be a junior. But she didn’t finish. Ironically that little fact makes me feel a little better. In my selfish view, I see it as "well she gave me up to take another life and that life leads to her not getting her degree and marrying someone else". So HA. I have my degree. I guess the correct way to look at this, the way a normal person would look at this, the way everyone on the planet wants me to look at this, is as if it means nothing. You all think I should just say "Good for her, we have both moved on, tra la la la. Life is happy and the future is bright." Well, sorry folks. There is not one iota of percentage of that feeling in me. This is a very dark day surrounded by every demon that has ever been with me and this will haunt me the rest of my life. I may grow a protective shell and no one will know but the second the thought comes to me, it will be like a knife in me.

So anyway I called Mason last night and he is going to take my furniture. He just moved into a place and has no furniture and I just told him I think it will come around again. I feel better about giving it to him because for one it helps him out, plus I hate to think of just selling the furniture to some schmuck and never seeing it again. This way I might come back to Nashville and see it all again. Maybe timing will work out so that Mason goes on tour and I move back to Nashville and I’ll re-inherit it or something. Plus if Mason takes it he can help me move it and I don’t have to find a person with a truck. So anyway, everything works out better this way except that I won’t be getting any cash for it. But there’s maybe $200 worth of furniture in the house anyway so I think it will be worth it.

So let’s cover a few things. Nashville is slipping through my hands. Racheal slipped through my hands long ago. Music has slipped through my hands. Money has slipped through my hands with the rent mess. People have slipped through my hands, be they roommates, relationships friends etc. Values slipped through my hands. No doubt any return I hear about this journal entry is going to be along the lines of "oh geez Craig get over it." Well, if that’s your reaction, don’t respond cuz I don’t wanna hear it.

Nashville Explodes

December 8, 2000

Well I called First Company, the Newsboys Production Company. It’s dead. The guy I talked to shut me down every word I said. They all ready have the people they need since he hires internally and they don’t need anyone and I should look elsewhere. At least he didn’t shoot the bull with me about it. So it looks as if I’m going home to Utah for a while. I can’t pay rent due to the fact that I have to pay a lease termination fee, and I have no real job prospects. This just brings a great deal of stress on me. Moving and not knowing what is going to happen, packing up. Even though I’m not doing anything in Nashville I still have hooks here. Friends scattered around and commitments at church. I mean, I was just getting the ball rolling with playing drums at church. So anyway, now that I’ve decided I’m gonna go home I realize that I can’t even be committed to that. Last night I was at the old folks home I volunteer at and mentioned I may be moving home, just making conversation. This woman said, "Well I’ve got an empty condominium. Do you cook? I wouldn’t mind you living with me…I wouldn’t charge you rent." I kind of laughed that off. But the prospect of living in her condo makes me think. It’s an idea…not a very good one, but an idea. The conversation didn’t go too far after that.

My dad’s friend is in town and driving a truck back to Utah so we arranged having my drums moved with him. It’s a good deal. I may not have to rent a truck and its free. Can’t beat that. But I just can see a down side. The instant my drums are gone something will break. I’ll get a check or some benevolent thing will happen and I’ll have a place to live or something. Maybe I’m just being a doubting Thomas but the way things have been lately…I wouldn’t put it out of possibility.

So if I move home (and I probably will. Once my drums are gone I’m committed) I’ll pay no rent and raise money and have fun with my brother. There is so much that has to happen. My brother suggested I drive home this coming Monday. I can’t pull away that fast unfortunately. I think I’ll just fly home for Christmas as planned and fly back and then drive home. I’m not in any huge rush or anything. And realistically if I moved home to Utah next week I likely wouldn’t work until after Christmas. At least here I’m already in the groove of working and making some money and it seems to just working. No need for dramatic change. Moving now would be like jumping in a swimming pool after being in a hot tub. I’ll just take it slow and do it natural and I think it will easier. Of course it will also drag out every last possibility of staying in Nashville which may hurt me in the long run. But what you gonna do?

This is a bit rambly so I’ll end it here.

Good Day at Work

November 27, 2000

Sorry, it's been a while since I updated this thing. In my defense I've been busy and thanksgiving happened, which is a lame excuse, but an excuse nonetheless so you'll just have to take that a run with it.

First things first. No news on the radio job. No one has called me nor have I made any effort to contact them, primarily because I am waiting to hear about the OC Supertones touring possibility, which by the way I have also heard nothing on. I will call again this coming Monday and in theory they will have some information on who and how they are hiring their crew. FYI this is the ideal position for me, taking into account and given everything else.

Now, once I hear about the Supertones thing the roommate/living domicile should be able to make some ground. I talked to a guy yesterday who rents out rooms of his house to people. As I understand it there is a possibility of me staying there for a month, which could work if I get the Supertones tour. If I don't get it then I may just move in there for a while and go with the flow. Again this is all forethought on my part and I'm sure nothing will work out as planned. But at least I have plans. That’s a good thing...isn't' it?

In further news, I talked today to an editor at the Tennessean newspaper and I will be having one of my articles published this week! I'm not getting any monetary compensation but I will be able to say "I was published in the Tennessean". I can sort of use that as a resume/experience builder. I would like to talk to the newspaper in SLC when I there this Christmas about getting some published there and this might help. Then again, refer to the fact that everything changes at the drop of a hat around here so who knows? Just in case you need the link for the stories it is here.

I saw Mason today. He is back from his tour. It was good to catch up with him. We discussed many things and I'm sure I'll update here as I see necessary. He said Haole may be going it's separate ways and in the meantime Mason wants to stay settled in Nashville for upto 12 months. My mind starts racing towards roommate possibilities and we talked about it. With everything happening with Willie moving out…well, I'm just leary. So I need to be careful before jumping aboard anything nuts. But anyway, as I said, I will update as I see necessary any changes. I need to figure out what's happening with the touring stuff and job and life and everything. May as well solve world hunger while I'm at it too.

The Comdata job is floating along. Nothing too exciting. We had a new girl start today and she was being trained by someone else. The VP of the business was in our area and I overheard a conversation he had with my supervisor. He said, "You should have the new girl being trained by Craig because…" and he trailed off and I missed what he said. But who cares why? He saw I was a good worker and made an executive decision. Anyway, it made me feel good.

This is getting long. I've had a pretty good day today for no particular reason and I'm happy about that. Those are getting fewer and farther between. Oh I almost forgot. I went to Springfield MO to see my sister and family there. I got to play with my neice who is 2 years old and I think I connected with her more this time than I have on past visits. For most people that's not saying much since connecting with babies is supposed to be normal. But for me this is a giant leap. The kid laughs at some stuff I do. She calls me Uncle Key and talks about me when I leave the room and that's pretty much all I could expect out of anyone. Long story short it was a good thanksgiving and noone was maimed so I count that as a victory.

My work is done here. Go forth and do likewise.

Nashville Rumbles

December 5, 2000

I believe the radio job is a dead beast. I haven't made any effort to contact them nor have they to contact me. I'm just gonna forget about mentioning it any more here until something happens. I called about the Supertones Monday and it turns out they are using First Company Production to staff the tour. First Company is the same company that did the newsboys tour. This means it's possible. Plus since they just contracted the deal today I can act fast and be ready. It can still go several ways but that's what I'm looking at.

My article was published last Thursday. I haven't heard any comments or anything except that I will have one more at least published near Christmas in the same paper (the Tennessean).

I have been looking into the realities of moving home in January and raising money and not being so financially stressed. I may move back to Nashville in a year or so. Maybe not. I don't even know if I'm moving home yet. Anyway it's in my mind. It certainly seems like an easy solution. Except the move. I've been looking at rental garages and storage and thinking about selling the furniture I have. It's all very stressful.

This entry is just a short one. Maybe I'll have something to report next time!

The Drone of Work

November 17, 2000

Life hasn't changed too much. Everything is in limbo. As for job related news a guy from the radio station thing called and we talked for a bit. I found out they do in fact offer benefits. I wasn't expecting that. But he wanted to see my resume too. I faxed him one yesterday and haven't heard back from him yet. He mentioned having an official interview later so that will be good for both me and the radio station to feel each other out.

I called the road manager for the Supertones. This is what he told me. By December first they will have chosen their production company and they rely on the production company to hire the staff for the tour. I told him my situation (basically that I really want to be on a spring tour). He said they usually hire 2 light guys, 2 sound guys, 2 stage guys. I told him I thought the best thing for both of us would be for him to hire 1 sound guy and hire me as the second sound guy because I will work for less money. At the time that was the only angle I could think of. I once again reiterated how much I wanted to do this (I didn't make myself look desperate or anything). So, as I said, limbo. Hanging. Waiting. Gee I've never done that before (scoff).

My Comdata job has become sufficiently boring. I don't even sell anything. I'm offering a free service on a card they already have and everyone is so leery of any change they all want to see info. State of the world I suppose.

Jobs are Boring

November 13, 2000

Yeah so I finally listened to the radio program. It was a lot like Dr. Dobson. I didn't have any problems with it. However, I have put some thought into how I will react towards the job. I have to be realistic. I have not really been interested in radio other than totally fun for me at WayFM. And the music really is what feeds my interest there. Talk radio is about exciting for me as cleaning toilet brushes--sure it has to be done, but I'm not the guy to do it. I need to find out whether or not the radio job offers benefits. That is the hinging point for me. If it does then I'll investigate it a little further (ie get more details) and go from there. If it does not I'll drop it cold turkey. I don't think it's worth it for me to take a job I won't like and not be compensated accordingly.

In further news I started making some calls about doing spring tours. Two friends I talked to (at the Third Day office and at the Newsboys office) said tours are light this spring and it should be heavy in the fall. Of course that's what they all said about this last fall season. But in my calls I talked to the OC Supertones and they are hiring. Our phone call was interrupted but I'm gonna call their road manager again tomorrow and get more details.

I found out today that for 4 extra dollars a month I can get an extra 1000 minutes on my cell phone plan. So I now pay $34 for 1500 minutes a month! I am bringing this fact up solely as bragging rights cuz that’s a really good deal!! That's right folks! SprintPCS changed my life!

Job Finally Starts

November 9, 2000

Work is straightening itself out. We finally started making calls and talking to customers. I still bring my book because so far at least once or twice a day the manager says "ok shut the system down I have to adjust something in access" and it's down for 10-30 mins. So I just read. Kind of boring, but it is paying the bills I suppose.

On the job front, that radio thing called me back. The guy gave me a web address so that I could listen to some archived radio shows to get a sample of what he wants. He said he wants to put a team together of young people new to radio. The web site he gave was www.faithandfamily.com. Feel free to check it out. I am trying to listen to it but the site is down right now or something because it won't load. It looks like they are southern Baptist. He said they are styling the show after a James Dobson approach (focus on the family).

So I dunno. I want to but I don't at the same time. I mean, talk radio? Southern Baptist? James Dobson? Every single one of those is half of me. I like radio, not talk radio though! And I'm Christian, but I call myself pretty independent, certainly not the order and organization of Baptist though! (No offense to any Baptists or anything, I'm just writing my first impressions here.) And don't get me wrong, James Dobson is a fine man. But after ten minutes that’s just about enough. Unless you're in the right mood, or James is talking about something that really hits my bones good. Hits my bones?!?! Jeez. You know you've been in Tennessee too long when you start making up expressions.

I am sick now. Full blown cold. Aches, pains, throat, nose. The whole Schmadeal. So happy happy joy joy there.